


The Maximum Ride

by LoveStoryFanatic



Category: Maximum Ride - James Patterson
Genre: Funny, Gen, Jokes, One Shot, Sex Talk, inappropriateness, perverts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:26:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveStoryFanatic/pseuds/LoveStoryFanatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max and the Flock run into a creep on the streets. Find out what he says to make Max want to hurt him, and also embarrass the crap out of Fang at the same time. No flames please...One-shot</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Maximum Ride

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a few years ago. Thought I'd post it on here.

The Flock and I had just saved the world. It felt pretty dang good, too. I mean, not to have any worries, not to be chased down ever two seconds of every day, not to have to steal food and sleep in trees.

You know, the good life. I don't know what our next move is. Our main goal has now been reached. I just don't know. And yes, I know, the great Maximum Ride is clueless. Very funny.

But anyways, back to the here and now. We were walking down the street as a family. And after that whole Hawaii incident were Fang somehow became my boyfriend and all, well, we were kind of holding hands at the moment.

So, if anyone asked, Fang was my boyfriend, Iggy was my brother and the kids were Fang's adoptive siblings. Oh, quite the life we lead.

Anyways, like I said, we're walking down the street when this guy steps right out in front of me and blocks my path.

"Oh, lookie what we have here. The Great Maximum Ride. And what do we owe for this great pleasure?" His buddies, who were standing off to the side, started laughing insanely. Okay, this was a bit weird, even for what I've seen.

"Um, excuse me?" Yeah, don't ya just love my great comebacks?

I glanced up at Fang to see him fuming. Then, I focused my attention on the guy. "Well, you're name's Maximum Ride, right?" I nodded. Was this guy really that dumb?

I could faintly hear Iggy whisper, Uh oh, from behind me.

"Well, then you must be quite the entertainment." His smile got so...perverted, I guess you could say. My mouth just dropped open. Before I had time to react, Iggy and Nudge burst out with uncontrollable laughter.

I could see Fang chuckling a little to himself as well. I narrowed my eyes at this creep, and was about to really give it to him, when I thought of a better idea. And since Fang was 'laughing', I thought I'd give him something to really laugh about.

"Oh, no. You see, you've got it all wrong. I'm not the maximum ride. My boyfriend, Fang, here is. He's wild." With that I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his head down so that I could kiss him.

His eyes went wide and he blushed a little, but kissed back. Iggy was laughing so hard by this point, that he had to lean up against the building to keep from falling over. Nudge was trying so hard not to make a comment, I could tell.

The guy who had been talking to me, huffed and walked away. I guess he'd been trying to get some or something. Well, that sure as heck wasn't going to happen.

Once the guy was gone, I broke off the kiss and continued walking, not even waiting for Iggy and Nudge to finish laughing. They would catch up.

After a few minutes of silence from our group, Angel spoke up. "Max, I'm confused."

I looked in her direction. "About what, Ange?" She thought for a minute.

"About...what that guy said. And what you said back."

I froze mid-step. How was I going to explain to a seven-year-old that I just made a joke about having sex with Fang? And yes, I made sure to have my mental blocks up before I thought that.

"Um, well, Angel, that guy was trying to make fun of my name, so I made him look like an idiot. That's all you need to know and that's all that happened." She nodded and continued walking.

I was just surprised that Gazzy hadn't spoken up yet. And that's when I got the brilliant idea.

"Let's go to my mom's house." I told the Flock once Nudge and Iggy caught up and everyone approved.

So, we found a vacant alley where no one would see us and took off into the sky. We were only like a state away, so it should only take us a couple hours.

We flew mainly in silence, except for the random outburst of laughter usually coming from Iggy. I assume he keeps thinking about what happened with that guy.

Whenever he'd start laughing, I'd crack a smile and peak over at Fang who'd do the same thing, except he wouldn't crack a smile. He'd crack a smirk.

We landed without any problems and quietly walked up to the porch. I rang the doorbell and waited until the door opened. It was Ella. She looked up and her eyes went wide. Her smile was so big it looked like there was a hanger holding her mouth open.

She lunged for me and I caught her in a big bear hug. We stayed like that until Mom came to the door, wondering who it was, and joined in. When my hugs were done, they continued to hug the rest of the Flock, even Fang.

We got inside and went into the living room to chat. We were all sprawled on couches, chairs, and even the floor.

"Oh! I made hot chocolate and cookies. Angel, Gazzy, how about you help me bring them in?" My mom said as she stood up to go to the kitchen. They nodded and followed her into the other room.

Nudge was busy talking up Ella and Iggy was feeling his way around the room, memorizing things to make sure where everything was. Fang just sat there staring off into space. He turned to look at me and was about to say something when I held up a finger to motion his to be quiet.

I was listening in to Gazzy, Angel, and my mom's conversation. Something had sparked my interest, and I'd be darned if I wasn't going to find out.

We listened for a minute until I heard all I needed to hear. I heard Gazzy say, "Dr. M? Why is Fang a maximum ride? That's what Max said, anyways."

My eyes went wide and I leaped off the couch. Iggy and Fang heard it too because Fang was hot on my heels and Iggy was lying on the floor laughing, again.

I ran as fast as I could into the kitchen and slapped my hand over Gazzy's mouth.

"Um, Mom, he doesn't mean anything. Some guy just came up to us and was trying to be smart so I told him off. It's no big deal. I promise." And then I smiled to give the full appeal. She didn't buy it for a second.

"Maximum Ride, you and Fang follow me." Then she turned and walked into her office. I looked at Fang and mouth, We're in trouble now. He only nodded and followed her.

I brought up the rear and closed the door behind me.

She sat down in her chair and looked up at us. "I have nothing against you two being together. I think it's the sweetest thing in the world. I really do. And the smartest, what with your wings and all. But please, please, tell me that you two are at least being safe. I mean, the last thing either of you need right now is a child of your own."

It had been quiet outside of the office, but once she had finished her spiel, Iggy started busting up laughing all over again!

"Mom, we haven't even done anything like that! It was just a joke to get that guy to leave us alone. That's all, I promise. And even if we were, we would..use..um..yeah.." It was kind of awkward talking to your mom about having sex with your boyfriend, with your boyfriend standing right next to you.

She nodded and thought a moment. "Max, I would like to talk to Fang alone for a second, if that's okay with you?" I hesitantly nodded and backed out of the room, stopping to open the door, of course. I wonder what she wanted to talk to him about that I couldn't hear.

Oh well, I'd get it from him later when we were alone. I walked into the living room, sat down, stood up, walked over to Iggy and hit him upside the head, which caused him to laugh harder, and then sat back down again.

By the time I sat down again, Fang came out and sat down on the couch beside me. I looked him in the face and raised an eyebrow. He smirked and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"She gave us protection..And told us to have..let's see, how did she word it? The Maximum Ride..." Oh dear...


End file.
